A Phase

For a while I've been attached to Stars's Your Ex-Lover Is Dead...

Just recently somebody booted me out of Facebook friendship. I may know why, but the haste was what startled me. Of course, it still left me asking why...and since I would have no idea, the safest I could assume is that this person has deactivated her account. If I were to be a bit bonkers then I'd say I'm the only one left out. I've noticed that a few others have actually...sort of ignored me...though, you know...I'd only be assuming things...but if my assumptions were correct, then...then I've nothing else to say...

Problem is how I'd act around them.

Me going through this again...but it's the first time I've actually written it down. Maybe I've written it down somewhere a few times...but never as forthrightly. When I felt like something's awry...I've always chosen to pretend like it never crossed my mind, and maybe everything will be sorted out if I waited. But this environment I'm in...I've learned, is an environment that expects people to get hints. It's never been like this before. It's evolved into it somehow...and every day it gets tiring.

I realize that friendship is a phase. Very few last, and many just fade away.

I've had really close friends in grade school...I've had lunch mates...some of their names I've already forgotten. Maybe this, I don't know, misunderstanding is something that will be fixed in time...maybe tomorrow...maybe it's something that will just fade...it's one of the reasons why I never wanted to open an account in the first place...one of the reasons why I left Friendster.

I've been wanting, for two years, to just separate myself from everything I know, start from scratch, and build something better...for some reason, the-powers-that-be're working hard on not letting me leave. I'm still wishing they'd let me.

It's not easy to forget if I'd have to deal with the things I want to forget every day. I just want to leave.

I want to leave...badly.

Bababa Ba?